26th April, 2012
It was a gruesome crime of passion. A man in Lagos, who accused his 36-year old wife of having an affair with his father, returned home on Saturday, 7 April, filled with rage.
As if he wanted to iron clothes, he reached for an extremely hot pressing iron and heartlessly placed it on his wife’s naked body as she laid helplessly on their matrimonial bed at about 11p.m.
He pressed the iron first on her back. And when she turned over to see her assaulter, he quickly pressed it hard on her chest. And when she attempted to defend herself, to put up a fight before she died, her husband of 16 years pressed the hot iron on her hands, and then, all over her body, threatening and boasting he will not stop until she tells him the truth about her love affair with her father-in-law.
Now, Mercy Nnamdi, the assaulted wife, is going through excruciating pain as doctors try to save her life at a private hospital in Lagos with limited income to support her medical expenses.
Doctors say Mercy sustained third degree burns from the hot iron. Her burns are so severe that she can only sleep on her back. She now wears adult diapers and constantly has a tissue by her side to help clean the fluid that gushes out of her burns. This is heartless, ignominious and unacceptable.
In his fit of anger, the same man was recently accused of killing their one year old son, supposedly because he was not sure he was his biological father. This is wicked and must be condemned by all Nigerians.
And Mercy’s case is not an isolated example. Last year, a 29 year old banker, Titilayo Arowolo, was allegedly killed by her husband, Akolade, after an argument that snowballed into a brawl.
Before that, the story of wife battering by the Nigerian High Commissioner to Kenya, Dr. Wilcox Wigwe and the Deji of Akure, Adesina Adepoju now deposed, who killed his wife, made the rounds, thus bringing the issue of spousal abuse once again to the front burner.
Examples are legion and statistics are frightening. Domestic violence in Nigeria is on the increase. About 50% of women are said to have been battered by their husbands. Disgracefully, more educated women (65%) are in this horrible situation as compared to their low income counterparts (55%). Shockingly, a staggering 97.2% of them do not report the crime to the Nigeria Police. They endure and sometimes die in silence, believing that the law will not protect them.
Only four states of the Federation, including Lagos, have passed laws against the insidious crime, whilst several bills gather dust at the National Assembly. And even in the states where the law has been passed, it remains to be tested.
Experts link domestic violence to increasing poverty, drug abuse, use of alcohol, personal dispositions and a raft of other reasons.
But no matter the reasons, domestic violence is an aberration and the law must prosecute and punish those who inflict psychological and physical pain on others while protecting the victims of such ignominious acts.
It is because those who are meant to enforce the law look the other way that men are emboldened to batter or kill their wives knowing they may still go scot-free.
Policemen often advise women who reach for help to return and beg their violent husbands. “Family matters must be resolved at home,” they usually say. Our criminal justice system does not help matters either.
No matter what, women must not wait until they are dead before they report domestic violence to the police.
Although the Nigeria police remain highly inefficient and corrupt, there are still honorable policemen who are ready to go by the ethics of their profession. They can only help when they are aware of the incident.
We call on the 36 states of the federation to pass and enforce laws against domestic violence which is getting out of hand. We also call on men who vent their anger on their wives to stop it. In the end, they will languish in prison while their children will become orphans and suffer for life.