18th June, 2010
Life without challenges would definitely be boring. Itâ€
Did you think there would be nothing to test your confession of love? Love must be tested to be trusted.
Love is a decision; you make up your mind to let it work. A fellow that is ‘single eyedâ€
A young woman and good friend of mine is willing to share her experience with us today. People who knew about what she was facing in the relationship came up with diverse suggestions but she knew exactly what she wanted and kept to that. I was almost tempted to lose hope too, but I applied the courage of a counsellor. After she weathered the storm, she booked an appointment with me just to recount her perseverance.
“Aunty Aidy, no man is fit to win who has not sat down alone to think and who has not come forth with a purpose in his eye, with white cheeks, set lips and clenched palms able to say, I have resolved what to do. You know, my marriage to Ayo has been shaky; the man I thought I knew turned a tiger overnight or were my eyes and feelings deceiving me? Ayo knew I had a good job, house and a lot of other things that made life comfortable, but he also knew I had a nagging desire to get married, so he explored my weakness and showed me the other side of a relationship. He lured me into investing in his business, new car, property and a host of other things.
“Immediately we concluded the marriage plans and contracted it, things started happening. All the gist of love gradually ended and there I was with an enemy under the same roof. Children didnâ€
“Before I could make further attempt, he was already seen in the neighbourhood with a ‘sugar mummyâ€
“Friends and relations were my very next option. I ran to Ayoâ€
“Sooner than I expected, Ayo moved out of our matrimonial home and joined his lover in her flat. The first day I saw him with the woman in the car I bought with my hard-earned money, I was heartbroken and that was the beginning of the illness that tortured me for three good years.
“But what no one could understand was my love for Ayo despite all he did to me. Could it be that I was mesmerised or was too anxious to answer ‘Mrs. Somebody?â€
“I kept sending him text messages since he wouldnâ€
“Some of his things that still remained in my house were safely kept; clothes dry cleaned and folded, shoes polished and packed, documents arranged on the shelf, etc.
“Other men who knew of my emotional state wanted to fill the gap Ayo created, but I refused. I maintained we were still married but only going through crisis, while I refused to remove my wedding ring all throughout that period.
“Sincerely, I wanted my man back but I didnâ€
“Initially, I felt I had finally got what to use and hook him, but on a second thought, I decided to let go and complied. About a month later, the same security man handed me another parcel, this time, bulkier. It was actually Ayo who brought his apologies of many months of desertion. Shocked and disbelieving as I was, yet it was true. He called me at night to affirm his position and in a jiffy, all the pains he caused me replayed and I screamed ‘no, no, Ayo, please, go to the love you found, leave my life alone, I can do without you.â€