Fighting Distractions


Aidy Thomas


Today, we are set to address an area in relationship which is difficult to accept, yet its reality has ruined many.

Is it not funny to see that even the love and commitment we have towards our partners cannot stop the monster called ‘distraction’ from attacking? Most couples who have serious problems in their relationships are too busy to consider distraction as a viable cause.

The fact to note about distraction is; it comes in diverse forms and takes diligence and wisdom for you to recognise and handle it promptly. The areas you have challenges most times are in your weaknesses. We are now familiar with statements and declaration of separation, divorce or a nasty action. How do you explain or justify what could make couples of many years still think of going their different ways? What makes a woman so irritated to the point of regretting why she ever in the first place, agreed to share her life with her hubby? Can you explain why a man would desire a teenage girl even in his old age? Secretaries and other female colleagues suddenly or gradually become prettier than ‘madam’ in the house? There is obviously something wrong somewhere, somehow.

To ask how many couples are distracted is to force people to tell lies, rather, we should be looking for how to identify distraction in order to fight it to a stand still.

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Sincerely speaking, it is human to feel what others have is better than what we do. This is basically the root of distraction. Are we saying that we should pretend all is well? Should we close our eyes to the success of others? No, we should talk to ourselves to appreciate where we are and the way to eventually move forward.

Distractions come in the following ways:
•Money: Should you still wait to be told that money is one vulnerable aspect of relationship we constantly have issues with? Oh yes, gone are the days the society felt it was only the woman who could be lured with money. These days, it is totally a game of chance. Men go out of their ways to source women with strong financial foundation to hang out. If you are single, there is no big deal, but tell me what a married man is doing in the arms of a rich single girl or ‘sugar mummy’? Did I just hear you say sometimes it is the women who go after the men? Okay, thank God you know, so don’t fall victim any more.
Money is good, you need it in the relationship but you don’t have to hurt your love in the cause of your desire. You may even be sourcing the money to help your spouse, but I am sure, if he/she knew where you are getting that money and how, it would be rejected.
Money answers all things and it can also scatter all.

Have you not heard that the beautiful ones are not yet born? Will you spend the rest of your life pursuing fine babes and guys? Na wa o! The more you long after other members of the opposite sex, the farther you will be from your spouse. Appreciate beauty, but only be attracted and committed to your love. There is no denying the fact that some are wonderfully crafted with curves and touch that blow the mind, but is that enough for you to get back home and look down on your choice? After all, we did not choose for you, so face the consequences of your choice.

I appreciate the fact that ‘levels change’ and life is progressive; where you were as at the time of your wedding might not be where you will be after five years. Ask yourself certain sincere questions that will help you discover the strength of your choice. If you become your dream, can you still be proud of your spouse? I am sure you hear of people who get political appointments but cannot present existing ‘madam’ as first lady. Why won’t they be distracted?

•Character: Is there a perfect person in one package? No, you will always see people who possess qualities you appreciate and desire in your spouse. If he/she is teachable, impart your feelings and wait for the change but if not, learn to cope, use positive aspects to overcome weaknesses.

NB: Even that person you are dying for has issues in his/her relationship as well, don’t be deceived.
How to know when you are distracted?
•You nag and complain unnecessarily.
•You may have a careless attitude toward your family.
•Compare without consideration
•Wish to separate or divorce at the slightest provocation.
•Make sarcastic comments about your love.

To fight distraction, you must decide to stay focus. Success starts from your mind, improve on areas of weaknesses, show more love, humility and respect. What you’re looking for outside might just be by your side.

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