When Civilisation Becomes A Curse



Some people will tag me old fashioned while some will see it as yet another piece from Amara  but the truth is that we have forgotten our values. We have buried the treasured values  handed down to us by our parents. We have now become more westernized than the western  world. Women have suddenly become what they were not known for because of civilization.

Women were taught to cover up their body and African women were known for decency in  dressing. Women used to place so much value on their body that it was seen as a taboo and a  thing of disgrace when a lady dressed scantily. What then is happening today?

How do people feel when they open pages of newspapers and see their semi-nude pictures? I  don’t know how you feel when you go through the Sun Newspaper every Saturday and Sunday only  to see women with their breasts and tummy totally out. I wonder how any reasonable man will  look at a lady dressed like a common whore and get attracted to her. But you know what? When  they get attracted to you, it is not you but your boobs and bum that are on display.

It is so sad seeing that the older women who should be helping to put the younger ones on  the right track are the ones guilty of this offence. I keep wondering why they won’t let  nature take its course. Woman, your breasts are for your man only and should not be for  public consumption. Girls, there is nothing fashionable in wearing things that don’t cover  you up properly. When I see some women at public functions, even our fashion designers and  actresses who call themselves married women, I always say it would have been better if they  had left the house totally naked. I see nothing fashionable in a bum short because it passes  just one message: she is cheap and available.

I have a friend who I used to see as one of those unreasonable Lagos big guys. But I was  shocked the day a girl walked into my office wearing a bum short. When she left, the guy  looked at me, smiled and said: “I wonder what guys see in all these club girls, I can never  be attracted to any girl who doesn’t cover up properly”. I didn’t really believe him until I  met his girlfriend.

Girls now sell for as low as the price of a lace wig and Blackberry. My male friends and  fans have always complained about this recent style of girls asking for money for lace wig  or Blackberry immediately you ask them out. For some it is recharge card. If you can’t  recharge your phone, you shouldn’t have it. If you cannot afford a lace wig, you shouldn’t  wear it. Be careful, the glue used for the lace wig could lead to other deadly diseases of  the skin.

When did women stop thinking about their families? I used to know women to be so caring when  it comes to their parents, that they bother so much about everything going on with them. But  it is really surprising seeing girls even deny their parents just because they want to  belong to a particular class. You know your background and where you are coming from. Your  parents are in the village with no place to lay their head and no food to eat. You are not  even bothered about their health and heart cry.

You are now a Lagos big girl. You live in a good house and drive the best of cars because  that is all to life. You move about town with the big boys and wear your Beyonce kind of  lace wig. Girl, you have suddenly forgotten your root. Your parents are not allowed to visit  your house because you are too ashamed to let your friends see them. Remember the old song:  if my mother is blind, she is still my mother…

I now see girls, even married women, smoke and drink alcohol as if there is no tomorrow. To  you, it is fashionable but it is totally unafrican. How are you going to feel when  eventually your own child starts living the same kind of life you are into?

African women were known for being tough when it comes to dating. But now, before the guy  says hi, you have told him how much you love him more than your own life. A friend who lives  in Canada recently told me about his experience when he came to Nigeria last year. He told  me how every girl he met instantly told him how much she loved him. That is how far we have  gone in dragging our name in the mud.

After jumping from one man to the other and living your high society life, you have  suddenly realised you need a man. Isn’t it surprising that after dating the high and mighty,  women still go down to pick a struggling man who they can be able to ride and possibly  transfer their ill-luck to? I pity some men when I see their wives and then look at them  following behind like a driver.

Girls are now the ones proposing to men. Okay, you have used all your antics to get the guy,  but what happens thereafter. You are so much into building a career that you have no time to  learn how to cook. It is unfortunate that guys complain about the woman’s inability to cook,  but I don’t always pity them because the signs were there even during courtship. As a woman,  you should be able to feed whoever enters your house. You should be able to get into the  kitchen and prepare something for your man. Enough of the constant dining out. Cook for him.

Have you noticed this very painful one? An elderly woman will be sitting on a chair only for  a young girl to appear and then ask her to get up for her. What has happened to our manners?  There is nothing modern about this. The Nigerian culture is one with so much regard and  respect for the aged.

What about the kind of businesses we do? When I was growing up, I saw that there were  offences and crimes that were committed strictly by men. But it is very disheartening to see  my fellow women arrested for drug trafficking and 419. Women in public offices have suddenly  become thieves just like their male counterparts. Women have lost their conscience that they  now use their babies for drug trafficking. A friend told me how a woman rejected her own  baby instantly after the NDLEA found drugs on the baby.

Any woman who stoops so low as to do drugs is worse than a prostitute. You are making your  money, riding all the big cars and covering up with big shops on high streets. That does not  change the fact that you are a disgrace to womanhood. What on earth could make a woman so  dislike her body that she allow men stuff her private part with cocaine wraps just for three  thousand pounds? Why should you get involved in something that is destroying millions of  lives and sending their parents into heartbreak? You know what? When a man does these  things, he may go free but for you, a woman, a mother of nations, there is payback time.

The much awaited 2011 is by the corner. Women are doing all sorts just to meet up. We are  the mothers of this great nation. If we decide to sell our conscience for power and wealth,  the nation will not be redeemed. Enough of this constant journey to Abuja to sleep with  different kinds of evil men for just a token. How do you feel sleeping with a man you feel  nothing for just for a contract? How many of them are you going to sleep with to get what  you want? As a woman, there are so many potentials in you. You can get to that high place  without sleeping with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I was recently called by the campaign  group for one of the presidential aspirants. My friends were excited and advised me to  accept the offer. But I slept over it and decided not to sell my conscience for a man I  don’t have faith in just because of money.

The white men in this country no longer have any regard for Nigerian women because we have  so belittled ourselves before them. Go to the big shopping malls in town, go to Silverbird  Galleria and you will see girls roaming about, moving from one shop to the other. When you  see these very beautiful girls, you instantly take them to be like every other person  shopping. But the truth is that they are prostitutes or call it “runs girls” looking for  easy prey. I had to watch one closely the first time a friend pointed at her and I can tell  you that things have really fallen apart.

Few weeks back, a girl on night duty (runs) was beaten to the point that blood was gushing  out of her body. Her customer for the night, a very notorious man in the community, paid her  N5k for a one night stand. I don’t know what happened but all I was told is that even after  the beating, the man stripped her naked and had sex with her on the road.

Let us retrace our steps to the place where we missed it. Enough of this westernization  because it has done more harm than good. We no longer have respect for the elderly ones.  Nobody bothers about learning to cook and do house chores. We are now free to wear whatever  we like without considering our culture. Let us go back to our goodly heritage and culture.

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