Hello Amara,
You are right. So many people have lost their joy and happiness in life simply because they were forced into marriages against their wish. Please do more to educate our parents and even the younger ones because it is very sad that a lot of them still reason like our parents.
—IK
Good day Ma,
I just finished reading your article, Women and Inter tribal Marriage. It is a great piece, if only our parents can look into it.Ma, please look into the union of two people from two different denominations.
—Jessica
Dear Amara,
I want to commend your effort towards restoring sanity to our society. I have learnt so much from your column. But I am not happy with you today because you wrote against my state, Anambra.
—Kingsley
Dear Kingsley,
I am happy to know you have always enjoyed my column. But you know as humans, there are times we won’t agree. I am also from Anambra State, but I don’t think being tribalistic will ever help us. I always stand for the truth and I want to plead with you to do so at all time. Until we get to that point where we stand for the truth irrespective of the circumstances, the change we need will remain far from us.
Amara,
Thanks a lot for your article today, but it reminds me of the bible scripture that says we should hear the instructions of our parents and if sinners entice us, we should not consent. My dear, I will always listen to my parents and will not consent to this advice.
—Charles
My Dear Charles,
I don’t know why all the ill-feelings against this particular article is coming from my fellow Anambra indigenes.Yes,the Bible advise we obey our parents, but the same Bible did not ask you to follow and obey them when they are wrong. We are not going to fight them, but in all love and submission, correct them.
As a good Christian that you claim to be, are you aware that the bible told us to be one; there is no Scythian, no Jew, no Gentile, but Christ is all and in all? Why then are you in support of tribalism? Nigeria will never be what we want it to be until we grow past tribalism.
VAGINAL HEALTH
Good morning Aunty, I got your number from a friend who said you are good in this area. I would appreciate it if you can help me with a solution to vaginal odour. It is becoming worse by the day and is beginning to affect me in my relationship.
—Nuella
Hello Nuella,
Every woman has her own peculiar smell of the vagina.However; it becomes a source of worry the moment that smell changes to some kind of fishy, stinking one. I understand your pain because that is one thing that puts men off during sex.So many husbands have sent me texts complaining about this same issue-vaginal odour. There are steps you should take to rid your vagina of every foul smell:
1. Avoid perfumed soaps around your vagina.
2. Avoid too much of spicy foods
3. Avoid douching and excessive washing of the vagina.
4. So many ladies don’t wash properly. Endeavour to squat with your legs wide apart and wash very well.
5. Tight fitting and Lycra under wears should be avoided. You don’t need all those Lactacid and Dettol for your vaginals,simply buy a feminine wash such as Summers eve,Femfresh,Sebamed,etc.
Hello Amara,
Kindly educate me more on what Kegel exercise is.
—Busola
Dear Busola,
Kegel exercise is a kind of exercise designed to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. It is very good for women experiencing incontinence as a result of childbirth, medical treatment, and stress to the body. It also helps women experience better and stronger orgasm. The first step into Kegel is locating your PC muscles. So many women claim to engage in kegel when in the actual fact, they are squeezing the wrong muscles. You can do kegel while in your office, cinema, waiting by the traffic light. Just ensure you are squeezing the right muscles. To do it in the toilet during urination, hold your urine from coming out, do it like twice before the urination is over.
Ma,
What can I use for vaginal itching?
Vaginal itching can come from something as simple as trapping bacteria for too long under those tight-fitting clothes. Bacteria thrive in a warm and moist environment. Itching can also signal an allergy to a chemical in soap, deodorant. It can also be a sign of thinning vaginal tissues in women approaching menopause. There are different solutions to vaginal itching:
Add half cup of table water in the bath, then mix with warm water. While in the bath, use your finger to open your vagina to allow the salt water enter your vagina.If you do this for three consecutive nights, it will go if it is treatable.
Abstain from sex for some days, but if you must have sex, please use a condom
Get help for menopause symptoms.
Don’t go for those douching products. Douching may drag some of those infectious materials up through the cervix thereby causing pelvic inflammatory disease.
If it persists, please see a doctor for medication.
WOMEN AND POLITICS
Amara,
Thank you so much for this article; women and politics. I am a woman who loves politics. I can say politics runs in my veins. I contested in Nassarawa State and when I moved down to Lagos, I joined ACN.But like you rightly said, I want to run and I am sure of winning with my husband and children in total support of my dream. But there is this problem I am faced with; another woman, married, who is the chairman’s girlfriend, has been promised my seat.
—Anonymous
WOMEN AND FINANCE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hello Girl,
You are too much. God bless you for this powerful write up. You always hit the nail on the head. I just love your guts. God bless you richly.
—Pastor Ken.
Dear Amara,
I must say that since the first day I read your article, you struck me as a very bold yet careful person. I like bold and blunt women who are not afraid to speak their mind.
—James
WOMEN AND STEP CHILDREN
Madam,
One really can’t get to understand you. I have watched you closely and all I can say is that knowing where you are coming from, you will forever remain my hero. You know me from a distance, but I marvelled the day a friend told me all that you have been through. You are a woman who remains calm in the face of adversity. I am always strengthened by your courage. Thank you so much for this article again.
—Janet
Hello Ma,
This is a very important issue. Reading through your article, tears rolled down my cheeks as I remember all I went through in the hand of my step mother. She so maltreated me to the point of visiting a native doctor to kill me, but God saved me.
—Wunmi
Hello Lady,
I just finished reading your article on women and their step children. I think it is a must read for all women. Well done.Â
—Anonymous
Dear Amara,
I am really touched by your article today, especially your very own experience in life. Don’t worry, people may condemn you, but God knows where it hurts the most. You shall have a good cause to laugh again.
—Jide
Dear Amara,
I thank God for your life and His grace upon you to be so open about your own life. As you are giving to the society, may the good Lord continue to water your garden in Jesus name.
—Mrs Anthony
WHEN CIVILIZATION BECOMES A CURSE
Amara,
I never knew there are still Africa women like you that believe in African values. In fact, your write-up on Tuesday, September 7, 2010 is one of the best write-ups I’ve seen in recent African history. All the reasons you gave are making it difficult for me to find a wife at 40. Please link me up with a lady that has respect for African values. She should be between 28-34 years, a graduate, working or self employed from Edo or any Eastern States. —Lucky
Amara,
Thanks so much for this article. It is unfortunate that Nigerian women have lost their values. The so called churches are not helping matters either. Why should a woman wear whatever she likes to church? You see them with strapless dresses, leggings, mini skirts in churches? The other day, my car broke down on my way to work. I had to board a bus and before I got to the office, there was this girl in the bus who was exchanging words with the driver over payment. I decided to pay for her. She later asked for my number which I gave her. I also told her I am a married man. To my amazement, she told me she prefers married men as they are more caring.
—Anonymous
Hello Amara,
Please think towards setting up a good ministry where you can always counsel the youths of this nation because they need to hear your voice. They are all wandering like sheep without shepherd. This word shouldn’t just be for the youths in Lagos, but the entire nation and Africa. God bless you.
—Uzziah.
My Dear Amara,
I am an elderly woman, but with what I see these days, I don’t really blame the young girls. Most of them grew up seeing their mothers go out half naked. To these ones; it is nothing but fashion.
—Mrs Okoro.
My Daughter Amara,
Thanks for this wonderful article. In fact; I don’t know what is happening to our ladies and why they expose their body. I thank God for my children’s behaviour. I also think it is the fault of the mother as I don’t know why any responsible mother should allow her daughter go out in such outfits.
—Mrs Oluwasegun.
Dear Amara,
The Almighty God will surely bless you and make you a role model to many women out there. Women now dress for other reasons and no longer for the generally accepted reason of covering. Thank God for you.
—Pius
Dear Amara,
I enjoyed this masterpiece; when Civilization Becomes a Curse. But I want you to be certain of one thing; there is nothing we can do about it. We are living in the last days and the daughters of Jezebel are going to wax stronger and stronger to recruit more men for their master, the devil. All we need now is more prayers and vigilance.                   —Tunde.
Amara,
Our women have no shame. We now have bed mates instead of women. I wish all women were like you. God bless your mother for impacting these values in you.
—Adeyi.
Aunty Amy,
I need a working class, God fearing lady for a serious relationship that will glorify God. I don’t bother about tribe, but she must be God-fearing. These are my contacts..
—Obinna
Hello Obinna,
I don’t match-make. You can use the dating sites available in newspapers and on the internet.
WOMEN AND RELATIONSHIPS
Hello Ma,
I am having a problem with the guy I am dating. He calls me names each time we have misunderstanding. I have tried to correct him but he has refused to change. Please advise me on what to do.
—Seyi.
Dear Seyi,
Emotional/verbal abuse is as damaging as physical abuse. You are still dating and I don’t think it is wise staying in a relationship when you know you are not happy in it. If you think you can’t change him, I would advise you call it quits.
Hi Amara,
You are doing a great job. I am an addict of your column in P.M.NEWS. I have a question that has bothered me for long and I hope you help me out of it. I am 24 and my fiancé is 37.I want to call off our wedding that has been fixed and coming up soon because of the age difference. What should I do?
—Ijeoma.
Dear Ijeoma,
Age does not matter in relationships. Age they say is a thing of the mind. If there is understanding and love, you can make it. But one problem that is so common in marriages where the man is far older than the woman is that the man, with time, begins to torture the woman emotionally due to low self esteem. Some of them go out of their way to stop their wives from moving forward in life. They want you to stop living the moment they are tired of struggling. But I have a friend who is married to a man of 70, a widower. I can boldly tell you that they are very happy and my friend is doing wonderfully well in her chosen career. Check out his spirit.