Divorce Not The End

Some people are born great, some fight their way to greatness. This is a very old  popular saying that is widely accepted. I never knew the true meaning of that  powerful statement until this young woman’s life gave me a full insight into that  saying.

This is not another piece of fiction but a true life story of a fellow young  Nigerian girl who survived against all odds.

It wasn’t easy for this young woman. She grew up in a very godly environment where  all she knew and saw was peace and love. She was sent to school, though not the best  school; she was the best in academics. She had the vision of becoming a medical  practitioner someday, specializing in surgery. But at the tender age of 17, she was  thrown out into the world where everything was strange with no one to show her the  way to go.

Don’t forget, this young girl grew up with the mind-set that one day she was going  to become one of the best medical practitioners in her time. She was focused on her  studies to the point that other students tagged her, Holy Nweje. She was the  teachers’ favourite and was popular, not just within the school but all over town  for academic excellence. She later graduated from the school with the best result in  sciences.

Her parents were comfortable, not too comfortable but they could afford three square  meals daily and sent her to a good school. After her SSCE, she left home for Enugu  to spend some time with a family that was so close to hers. Remember, this was an  innocent girl who grew up under her parents watchful eyes. This is a girl who was  taught the way of godliness and moral values from childhood. This is a girl who grew  up not knowing what crime and quarrels are. In that same state of innocence, she  went to Enugu, the coal city to spend her free time with a family she loved so much.

Just few months in Enugu, she sat for JAMB. The result came out leaving her with 10  scores below the cut-off point. It was a very disheartening one for her. Before you  say Jack Robinson, suitors started flooding in. This little girl was not ready for  marriage as she set her mind on becoming a medical doctor before considering  marriage. But as you know, life, most times, does not give us what we wished for.

Remember she grew up in a very peaceful, Christian home where all she knew was love,  truth, and obedience to godly principles. But at that tender age of seventeen, after  so much pleading to her parents, she was pushed into marriage with a man whose  values in life are totally different from hers, just because the elder brother of  the man was very close to the girl’s family. Her parents agreed to this marriage on  the condition that she must graduate from school as a medical doctor. The marriage  was contracted against the wish of the innocent girl who never said yes to the man.

This was the beginning of her shattered dreams. She moved to Lagos, into the home of  a man she knew nothing about. A girl with such great dreams of becoming a medical  doctor and a preacher was forced to live with a man whose only respect and loyalty  is for money (it doesn’t matter how it is made).

She was treated just like every other househelp. She had no say of her own even when  women were brought into the house right before her. Her sister was sent out of the  house at the age of 12 simply because she refused to give in to the devilish demands  of this man. Househelps were raped and sent out of the house while some left with  pregnancy.

That is not all; she was beaten at every attempt to ask questions. She was sometimes  locked up in the boys’ quarters for days without food over any little  misunderstanding.

In the midst of all these, she had four wonderful children for this man who believed  all he owed her was money. Being taught from childhood how to keep a home, she did  her best to be the best wife any man could ask for. In her efforts to keep her home,  she kept all her pain from everybody and told them what they wanted to hear: all is  well.

This girl who had her fourth baby at the age of 24, still managed to graduate from  UNILAG with a degree in Curriculum Education. She got admission again for MBA, but  as usual, she was stopped. She stood strong in the face of all adversity. She was  determined to make it in life. She refused to give up her hopes and aspirations of  doing something to affect humanity. She refused to let her situation hold her down,  but rather she sailed above her pain and difficulties, only seeing her great future.

So many of her mates who got married at that same age are nowhere today. So many of  them lost the consciousness of who God created them to be. But with four children  and many battles, she refused to give up. She went out to set up her own company  even when the man was against it because she decided not be useless in life.

She got to that point where she started asking God for an end to the marriage. She  wanted God to supernaturally end it knowing full well that her parents will never  accept divorce as an option. God seeing her heart granted this request as she was  locked out on getting back from work.

Remember, she was in this marriage for 14 years. But all of a sudden, she was locked  out with nothing but the clothes she had on. This happened after the girlfriend sent  the husband a text to send the wife packing.

Fourteen years of her life was gone, but she is ever grateful to God for her  children because that is the only thing to be grateful for. Being who she is, she  left quietly to avoid any form of noise. She never fought for what she is entitled  to. The man rushed to court for a divorce which the girl gratefully accepted.

He didn’t stop there, but went all over the place with negative stories about her to  cover up the evil he did. Trust the Nigeria Police Force; they did all possible to  rope her into a crime that never existed simply because they must deliver after  accepting bribe. But God who sees in the secret and in the open delivered her. This  girl who is now a matured woman never talked to anyone about it; rather she went  into hiding for the sake of her life.

Her children were taken and dumped in a school in Accra where they had no slippers  to wear until their mother could trace them and through the help of the court and  Mrs. Bisi Fayemi, got them back. This girl is still surviving with her children  today even when the man has never given a dime for their upkeep and education. But  God has been faithfully opening doors for her.

Today, she is the head, corporate affairs and business development of a company. She  is a newspaper columnist and a motivational speaker. She runs an NGO for widows and  a programme for youths as well. She hasn’t stopped struggling because she is still  dreaming.

This woman has proved people wrong when they believe that all divorced women are  flirts. She has made it and is still struggling against all odds. Today, God has  given her a new song. I don’t know where you are now or where you are coming from. I  don’t know what life has brought your way. I don’t think you should allow people  talk you out of your place. You shouldn’t let life and your terrible experiences  turn you into a monster.

So many women are out there living their lives as prostitutes because someone broke  their heart. So many divorced women have been misled into believing they must sleep  with every Tom, Dick and Harry to make it. You know what? You are only losing your  pride. Let people get attracted to you not because of your beauty or what you have  in between your legs. People should get attracted to you for what you are and for  what you can offer to humanity.

Are you one of those women in that situation of a terrible marriage, hang in there.  I believe you can make it and become what God wants you to become. See yourself as  nothing but pencil in the hands of your creator. Give Him the right to do whatever  He wants to do with you. Remember, the pencil goes through so much painful  sharpening to become what the owner wants it to become. I tell you this today: For  you to become a voice in any area of life, you must be ready to go through pain in  that area.

Women, you can make it. Your life can become sweet again irrespective of  circumstances surrounding you. Come down from your fake lifestyle; leave those bad  friends who only discuss men and parties with you. Run away from any man or woman  who pities you and makes you feel you should be pitied. Look for people who can stir  up the gift nature has bestowed on you.