3rd December, 2010
As a continuation of our mail box response, one or two letters will be considered today.
Dear Mrs. Thomas,
It is enough worry that at the age of 35, I am still single an not even in a stable relationship. Just now, life seems to be turning its back at me; everything works in its exact opposite expectation, how can I ever be happy like other people and enjoy my days on earth?
—Amy, Abuja
Hello Amy,
It’s really a pity to be where you are now and I’m sure there are a lot more things you wouldn’t want to say on paper but whatever the case, let me just share this e-mail sent to me by Rob, a fitness trainer.
“No matter where you may be right now, however, I want you to accept and love yourself… just as you are.â€
You are a valuable and wonderful right here and right now.
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, lose weight, make more money and on and on and on.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more contented when they are.
After that, we are frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.
The truth is there’s no better time to be happy than right now, if not, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
One of my favourite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza.
He said: “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to being real life. But there was always some obstacles in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.â€
This perspective had helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way! So, treasure every moment that you have.
And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend you time… and remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until the first or fifteen, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need money. Love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one’s watching.
Did you get the message? You hold the key to your happiness; it’s your decision to be sad or happy. There is really no absolutely happy person, there are challenges everywhere, every time and everyone is in it. The difference though is that we are not all going through the same challenges at the same time.
Do you think all the married people are happy? No, if that was the case, why do we have divorce? Marriage would not make you happy, having more money sometimes brings sleepless nights, a brand new car may attract robbers and endanger your life, a new home could be an exposure to death. In as much as man wants the good things of life, what he/she desires most is the gift of life.
If you’ve got life, don’t allow the world to define an measure your success; greed has no limit, wealth has no scale but contentment and smiles makes you a wonder to all.
So cheer up darling, don’t get carried away by the fake shine, even those you are jealous of also cry.
This is the conclusion of the whole matter: men should fear and worship GOD.
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