Women Play Games Too (1)

We have this mindset in the Nigerian society that it is men who use and dump women.Yes,it used to be, but times have changed and it is now the opposite. We now live in such a time when a woman goes out of her way to talk to a guy and get him into a relationship with her. I don’t really feel too good about this current style as I believe it is the man who should find the woman, but I have to leave you with your own opinion.

The problem is not in women reaching out for men, but the issue is that after the whole toasting and clicking, the relationship is far from what it should be. I always come up in the defence of these ladies; they are really in love with the guys, but the problem is that they don’t want to bend down and be faithful in one relationship. This is because they must meet up with their friends who do all sorts of things to belong.

Nigerian women are becoming more gullible with each passing day. Dating is now all about how loaded the man is. Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying you shouldn’t give because that is what guys use to deceive women. If you are too unserious to sleep with a lady, you must not be serious when it is time to provide for her.

What I am saying is that ladies shouldn’t make money the foundation of relationships. You must first of all be sure there is a connection before embarking on that journey. May I also remind you that relationship does not mean sex. I always advise people to start as friends and get to the level where they become best friends.

I know there are women who are deceitful to the point that they make you believe you are their all in all. They do all these and sweet-tongue you just because they are after your pocket. The problem here is that they do this over and over again with men falling mugu over and over again. The good girls are the ones you call stubborn and mean because they rarely sweet-tongue you.

Being a woman and having had opportunities to speak at several women’s conferences, I have received numerous feedbacks from women—the good, the bad, and the ugly on the games women play with men; I am not talking about single ladies alone, but also the married.

Birthdays

I am sure many of you have had encounters at one time or the other in this area. There are girls who celebrate birthdays every month and in most cases, they don’t mark the birthdays with friends. All they do is get enough money from you by telling you they don’t celebrate birthdays. These ones make sure they get new guys every month to mark their birthdays with demands for Blackberry and Brazilian hair or Lace wig.

Some very bad ones come with the story of losing their mums or relations and plead with you not to bother coming as she just wants to rush to the village to take care of things. There are those who are ever in school. They get a room in school and then do their “runs” from there. For these ones, you must bring money for school handouts, fees, accommodation, and feeding.

There are others who have cars, but can’t fuel them. These ones are totally jobless and earn their living through prostitution. When she wants to get money from you, she sends you a BB message or SMS letting you know she just had an accident. Sometimes she talks about her car getting impounded by security officials. Ask her to take the car to your mechanic and she tells you she trusts her own mechanic only. Insist on speaking with the security agent and she tells you her life is not important to you. All she needs is some cash deposit alert.

Relations

I always pity men who get married just by seeing a lady in the city and proposing to her. I pity you because sometimes you entertain your very worst enemies under your roof for days without knowing it. How do you know your wife’s relations when you have never been to her village?

Some of them employ their boyfriends as cooks, drivers and even securitymen. They come to you with the lie that they are relations who are jobless and in need of help. Sir, the truth is that the steward and driver service madam in your absence. In fact, things have gone so bad in our society that some mothers now connive with their daughters in bringing boyfriends into the house.

Kidnap

We keep seeing people come to thank God in church for deliverance from the hands of kidnappers. The in-thing is for women married to rich guys to plan for their own kidnap or that of their husbands and children.

Some of those kidnappers are undergraduates and boyfriends of the women. I don’t know if you still remember the story I wrote sometime last year about some woman in VGC, Lagos who planned and actually got N80million from the man through her boyfriend. The husband is into real estates and went to meet with his kidnappers thinking they were actually interested in buying his newly finished house. On getting to the place, he was taken away.

The wife was the person who sent the chequebook to him and got the money out. She later gave the boys N10million while she kept N70million. This is a typical example of what I am talking about. When next you come dancing before God in appreciation for deliverance, please be sure there is no household enemy around you.

Rich uncle/daddy

I keep talking about how fake Nigerian women are. Like my friend, Chris Nwandu once said; everything about women is now false-false lashes, nails, hair, lips, boobs, bum, eyes… Sometimes I joke about this false beauty indirectly making our inside false.

Nobody wants to accept her social status any longer. We all want to become what we are not. Why deny your poor parents in the village and acquire a new rich daddy in the city? A friend who was in a relationship with a lady for about 5 years recently told me a story when I asked about her.

This man and a lady agreed to get married in 2010. The lady had another young man who she also was in a relationship with. She told the young man that the rich man is her uncle and went to the rich guy to tell him that the younger one is a boy who was always coming to help her with house chores. To the utmost bewilderment of both men, she was dating the two at the same time with none of them knowing.

When next she talks about her trip to the Bahamas and a birthday party in a ferry, please ask to know who that uncle is and refuse to be carried away before the “I DO”. Please check her background and find out the whole truth about her. They say love is blind, but I refuse to be blind and foolish in the name of love.

Also note that her being bad before she met you does not mean she will be a bad girl forever. It takes a real man to pick up a shattered life and make it something to be envied by others. I always believe that true love is accepting and loving someone even when you know her dirtiest secret and this is the only power you need to change her.

Fake pregnancy

This happens in marriage or when a woman is trying to get a man hooked. Are you aware there is a particular injection women take to make them blow up and look pregnant with their menstrual period put to a halt? This sometimes lasts for as long as four months and then the blood comes rushing.

I also wrote about “Porta Baby “in one of my articles where women go to get spiritual babies and this has led to someone I know giving birth to a set of twins that look exactly like the Chinese.

I understand women do these things to keep their home and make the man happy. But sir, you can help your woman stay away from these destructive acts by showing her love and making her not to always grieve her childlessness.

I recently got a message from a woman who is confused about life. The husband beats her consistently and is currently having an affair with a woman who he believes will give him a male child because the woman has three girls. It is even sad to know that a fellow woman will join her brother in maltreating this lady. But like I always tell people, generations after her will definitely pay for her deeds. Now tell me; if this woman finds a solution to this problem, won’t she go for it without minding the cost? Husbands, please help your wives not to do the wrong things.