15th July, 2011
Domestic violence is about becoming the second name for Nigerian marriages (I am sorry).We have suddenly reached that point where we look at the various news about domestic violence and we go like, “what next pleaseâ€. We now see it as one of those things and itâ€
Domestic violence is now the order of the day in marriages. I have seen a lot in the course of running my NGO for widows and less-privileged women. Few months ago, a woman who went through hell in the name of marriage came to see me. This woman went through a lot of beating from her ex and that left her with black patches and scars all over the face. I asked to know why the marriage didnâ€
It is really sad we live in a society where domestic violence is handled with so much laxity. We sit and watch women lose their lives in the course of marriage. Isnâ€
Nigerian men believe they own the woman just like every other piece of furniture in their living room. But the fact is this; times have changed and you need to make certain changes for peace to reign in the home. Men are always quick to make reference to our mothers who were 100% submissive to their men.
I always donâ€
A woman shouldnâ€
There are many stories of domestic violence in the society. As the story of the Nigerian Ambassador to Kenya was coming to an end, we got the shock of a man, Lukman Arowolo who allegedly murdered his wife of two years.
The Ambassador could be a good man and that is what everybody was saying when it happened. I told them not to allow looks deceive them. There are men and women you see, they look very harmless, but by the time you go close to them, all you see is the opposite.
The guy, Arowolo didnâ€
I remember the death of a young immigration officer some years back. This lady was forced by the society to go back to her very violent husband after years of separation. Just weeks after her going back, she was pushed from a very high building by the wicked man and that was the end of the poor lady.
A lady recently called me, crying out in pain and confusion. She didnâ€
According to this lady who has scars all over her body, she wants to run away and spend some time alone for her life, but the society keeps telling her to stay back. I asked to know the reason for the violence and she told me she receives the beating of her life any day she tries to question his movement as the man is always coming home very late at night.
It is very sad that we claim to have social welfare offices in the country. The government say they have women affairs ministries and offices for the defence of womenâ€
Our dear men, when you say you love a woman, you are to love her as your own body. I canâ€
I know some women are wicked and even the Holy Bible says it is better to live in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman. Some women can nag you to death. They donâ€
I know it hurts when you get into your house and the whole place stinks because the kids are allowed to pee on the chairs and carpets. I know you eat good food in your friendâ€
These are the things that make you look at her and feel like strangling her. She comes up with excuses not to have sex with you. When people come to settle cases for you, the main cause of the quarrel is left untouched because you donâ€
Please, in Godâ€
Think about those men who beat their wives to death; what are they going to tell their children by the time they grow up. You have been hitting her, she will not tell you, but the truth is that the woman who carried your children in her womb, the same woman who gave you those bundles of joy, is nursing some inner injuries that could lead to her death. The society may never know the cause of her death, but God knows and He will definitely pay back.