5th August, 2011
Men and women are as different as black and white; what appeals to one might be total nonsense to the other, while being controlled by different emotional frequencies also determines, to a great extent, their behaviour, reaction and approach to issues.
This, I guess, is one of the things which make the process of blending in marriage a bit more challenging. Marriage isnâ€
The girls on the other hand, constantly look for ways to stay beautiful and please ‘Prince charming,â€
Someone once said to me, “the reason for all the troubles in the world is the desire to please the opposite sex. Guys could steal to keep their babes happy; girls donâ€
In other words, a sweet and cosy relationship is the dream/wish of everyone—people who claim they love to be single might say so because they are not sure they can find true love. Now, out of fear of being hurt, decide not to give it a chance at all but you know what? Perfect love has no fear; if you expect love, give it first and your life will sure be better for it.
Dealing with the fear of abandonment or disappointment is a positive step in the right direction if happiness is to be achieved. Marriages are not always easy and good marriages donâ€
True happiness is found each day through the experience of couples who consciously work out how to balance the demands of life and differences to achieve stability. This they do through the following:
•Focus: Keeping that dream of a happy home alive can help you in some way if you make a conscious effort to accomplish it. A couple came to me for counsel at the hottest point of their marriage—they were ready to split. When I looked at their body language, I knew they loved each other deeply but were only frustrated by inexperience. The most effective thing I said, according to their feedback, was telling them to love for that purpose that brought them together. Did you get that? Something made you want to be with him/her, find it, go back to it and keep it alive.
•Say thank you: Sounds simple to say ‘thank youâ€
•Romance: Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Simple acts like stroking your spouseâ€
•Expectations: Play down on your great expectations and remember no one is flawless. Admit it is difficult or almost impossible to change an adult by force—love and understanding does the job faster. Make room for inadequacies and differences, after all, you came from different backgrounds.
•Talk some more: Cultivate the habit of hearing each other clearly before you venture into problem solving. Talk honestly about your need and discuss ways youâ€
•Let it go: A wife who still remembers the ugly wedding dress her husband bought for her, the miserable honeymoon or the pains of going through the delivery of their first child without her husband by her side, is only hurting herself. True to it, these things are very painful but how long do you want to keep feeling the pains? Or your wife mistakenly lost £500 when she went shopping and since you refused to buy her things? Come on, we know itâ€
•Just a little gift: Gifts of love do not always need to be expensive. Only ensure to buy relevant things (youâ€
•Be best of friends: Act and react as friends and not enemies or rivals.
•Get away: Finding time to disappear from familiar routine is a good way to bring a spark into your relationship. This involves leaving children behind with nannies or family members to concentrate on each other. Learning and discovering new ways to love and please your spouse. Spend quality time together to play, chat, touch and enjoy your life.