23rd August, 2011
It is sad seeing the number of women lost daily as a result of complications during child delivery. The hospitals are doing their best to educate couples on how best to deal with certain situations before, during and after childbirth; God bless our nurses and doctors. The NGOs are also not sleeping when it comes to cases of women. The government, especially that of Lagos State, is doing well in health care delivery.
All these government and non-government agencies have done perfectly well in ensuring that women are safe during childbirth. But there are three major issues that have continuously led to the death of women and their babies; finance,religion and culture.
Finance: Let us start with the issue of finance. A good number of Nigerians do the wrong things, not because they donâ€™t know it is wrong, but because of poverty. Ours is a society where government cares less about the health of the masses. This is one nation where people work like elephants and eat as ants.
This has led many educated Nigerians to act uneducated. When a man looks into his pocket and finds out he has no money to pay for some emergencies during delivery, he, most times, go for the cheapest option and as we know, that may not be the right option.
I have seen ladies get threatened by their husbands not to return to the house if they donâ€™t give birth to a male child. A lady in this kind of situation will choose to deliver the baby the normal way to avoid incurring the manâ€™s wrath. This is one of the reasons ladies should be independent as that helps in cases like this. You should also learn to put your foot down when it comes to your life; choose the right hospital.
Religion: Like the Holy Bible says “my people perish for lack of knowledge,” it is sad that Nigerians have suddenly turned their religion leaders to God. We now go to church, not to know God, but for the approval of the pastor. We no longer spend quality time in the study of the word of God. We no longer struggle to have personal relationship with God and so, whatever the pastor tells us is the truth.
We live in a time when there are wolves, a good number of them, in sheepâ€™s clothing. A greater number of people parading themselves as pastors are nothing but deceivers and agents of darkness. This is why I keep shouting and telling whoever cares to listen, to be careful and stop running to men like them for help over every little thing.
Many Nigerians today are living in fear and total confusion. They cannot even step out of their houses without asking the pastor for a vision and prophecy.
Nigerians are very lazy when it comes to self development and this is one weakness that the so-called pastors are taking advantage of. You have suddenly become lazy that you can no longer study the Bible and pray by yourself.
Pastors should be careful how they spiritualise every problem people go through. Many have lost their lives because of the ignorance of our pastors. A pastor friend once said, â€œthe problem with the church is that pastors with little or no training now function as trained counsellors, doctorsâ€ and as such, that one is a pastor doesnâ€™t mean he is a counsellor.
I remember a very rich businessman who died some years back because he had to obey his pastorâ€™s instruction refusing to allow the doctor put him on drip. He lost his life and that same pastor is still alive today with good congregation.
Hear this woman: when next they come with that bible verse that says you will deliver like the Hebrew woman, believe it, but donâ€™t let that blind your sense of reasoning. Faith is not a licence for foolishness; we should avoid tempting God.
If you are one of those that believe you must have your baby supernaturally, you better change that mind-set to avoid going the way of other women like you. Donâ€™t kill yourself because of stubbornness. Our Doctors and nurses are not stupid people; God gave them the wisdom to be able to take care of you and your unborn child. If God is not behind medicine, He wouldnâ€™t have allowed it to come to be.
Many women get medical practitioners so upset during labour that they even lose interest in saving their lives. You should know that for the doctor to suggest surgery, he has seen some danger. That is not a time to call your uneducated pastor who, instead of asking God to have His way and use the nurses and doctors right, begins to foolishly deceive you into kicking against the doctors. You can go ahead and believe them, but have it in mind that when you die, he moves on with his congregation. However, God chooses to deliver you and your child is supernatural.
Culture; This is another one that has left women in miserable conditions. Some women have their pelvic muscles and bones displaced, some are now on wheel chairs, while some can no longer enjoy the men in their lives just because of ignorance and timidity.
I want to use this column today to educate the Nigerian woman. I can remember, at least, two women who lost their lives because they were trying to prove a point. A very good friend of mine who gave me my business name, lost her life all in a bid to have a male child. The doctors warned her, while her husband, who loved her dearly, did everything to let her know he loved her just like that. The man had her kids in top schools here in Lagos, while she was running the manâ€™s accounts and there was nothing he didnâ€™t do to get her relaxed.
But because of culture, these beautiful children became motherless and their father, a widower. My friend had the baby boy, but lost her life just two days after delivery.
Another woman I know died during labour of her first child just because she was trying to let her friends know she is a woman. She insisted on having her child the â€œnormal way.â€ When the consultant/gynaecologist told her she was going to have her baby through Caesarean section, she turned deaf ears to his warnings. Just a week to her EDD, she decided to leave the hospital where she did her ante-natal to another one where the doctor assured her she was going to have her baby normally. The rest is history as she didnâ€™t leave the labour room alive.
You donâ€™t have to prove any point to anyone. If you lose your health or your life in the process of childbirth, no one is going to go through it with you. If the doctors tell you not to have more children, please donâ€™t go ahead to try for a son. If your husband is too crazy about you having a son, let him do whatever he wants to do, but you have to stay alive to train the ones you have had already.
I have said the truth which your mother may never say to you; no one should be blamed for your own mistake.