Why Relationships Crash

In Lagos State alone, over 100,000 young people, both male and female are seriously in need of partners to marry.

During a chat with P.M.NEWS, musician and relationship consultant, Ifeoma Chukwu during the Economic Empowerment for Young People in Lagos, stated that majority of those searching for life partners are men.

Ifeoma also known as Ify said as a consultant, her job is to matchmake people and make sure they are compatible.

Matchmaking is usually done during programmes that give room for interaction between male and female singles.

From there, they get to know each other better, because no one can bring people who don’t know one another together to show love immediately, she explained.

“I don’t matchmake youths in their early twenties because they are not usually serious in any relationship. They only want a fling; instead, I focus my energy on mature youths from age 30 and above because I consider them to be fit and prepared for serious relationships.”

She added that it is not only young lovers that come searching for life partners; elderly ones of about 70 years of age also come searching.

She highlighted some reasons why relationships fail. These include greed, infidelity, discontentment and lack of patience and understanding. These, she said, has made several relationships crash.

“Most youths don’t know what they want. Young ladies dating several men concurrently so as to meet their financial needs will end up as failures.

Also, guys are always interested in ladies that are educated, from rich families, presentable, with good background, beautiful and those that have good jobs with stable salaries.

“All these qualities are rather too much to be found in ladies and this will not help build a lasting relationship,” Ify cautioned.

She also reasoned that poverty is not a good reason why relationships should fail using herself as a case study. She said: “I had a pair of tops and couple of skirts which saw me through my university education lasting four years, yet I never had a cause to indulge in such habit like changing lovers,” adding that singles who use poverty as an excuse for breaking up relationships are ignorant.

Another reason why relationships crash is forced marriage. She said marriage is not supposed to be a barrier to lovers as they have made it a must. Marriage shouldn’t be a do or die affair because some people cannot stand marriage.

“In some marriages we found out that some couples are not spiritually and emotionally prepared for marriage and as a result they are incompatible. Therefore, when things go wrong they resort to domestic violence and broken homes will be the outcome of the relationship.

She observed that pre-marital sex also constitutes a problem in relationships as ladies use their bodies to please their guys even when they are aware that the relationship is not going on smoothly.

“They feel everything will be fine after sex. But the guy, after sex, jilts the lady and she feels it’s unfair because she thinks before a lady decides to have sex with a guy, it means she sincerely loves him, which may not likely be the case,” she noted.

Ify disclosed that she has been working assiduously in her own way to manage the situation and help matchmake people. Her aim is to bring compatible lovers together for workable and lasting relationships.

—Abimbola Obatayo and Motunrayo Idris