11th October, 2011
I decided to write this article today due to the series of messages I received from men thanking me for letting them know what the women folk want and asking me to help them by talking to the women for a balanced relationship.
Some people criticize me for always not balancing my articles. I do two articles every week—Tuesday is for women while Friday is strictly for men.
If you meet 10 women differently and ask them to tell you what it is that men want in a relationship, their answers would be predictable. It is not different when you ask men what they want from their woman. You will get all the answers acceptable to the society, but the truth is that what men say they want is, in most cases, different from what they actually want. This article, if well read and assimilated could bring the change you need in your relationship.
Every man wants a woman who will make him feel good and on top. If a woman understands that the best way to make a man feel good in a relationship is simply by being a woman, that woman will have the man, a real man, go places for her.
I laugh when women, during my counselling sessions complain of their in-laws calling them witches and accusing them of using juju to control him. I want you to hear this: if as a married woman, you have not been accused of such, there is something you are not doing right or true love and friendship is absent in your relationship. Men, most times believe they are the head; I agree they are the head, but when it comes to control, the woman is actually in control of the man (you may not understand this now).
Before writing this article, I talked to several men and with the knowledge gained from my counselling sessions, I bring to your knowledge those things that will make your man go the extra mile for you.
Donâ€
A good number of women are good when it comes to romance before marriage, but once they enter the manâ€
Centre of Interest
Most men want to be the centre of a womanâ€
Women often feel men detest career women just because they are independent; you are very wrong. As a very busy woman and one who wants to touch lives in her generation, I have come to realise that men are not really against us because we are busy and have good source of income. They are attracted to women like us because of their level of intelligence and commitment to work.
The problem is that when they get close to you, they are disappointed by your “I donâ€
More feminine look
Men are visual; everyone knows. To a good number of men, even when they go after semi-nude women, they still adore women who have those feminine looks. Your feminine look catches a manâ€
I remember one evening at Ikoyi Club when men made so many beautiful comments about my flowing dress and dropping ear rings. There were ladies there who dressed half naked, but didnâ€
When you wear more of those dresses and long hairstyles, men get crazy for you for the right reasons. You also have to know that men are not so much after how much you weigh; they want your body proportionate with the curves still there. I must also use this medium to remind us we are still African women. You are not supposed to be obese, but donâ€
I know a good number of men love women with these features, but I must also tell you to always try to find out how your man wants you to be in your efforts to look skinny. Recently, I was told by my man to make sure I donâ€
He enjoys good sex
Please donâ€
Dress to please him and not other women
Often times we ignore the desires of that man we claim to love just because we want to make a statement among friends. I may excuse you if you are in just a dating relationship with him, but the moment you take that relationship a step further into courtship, you must start seeing yourself as the glory of that man.
Being the glory of a man means you are now to dress the way he wants and how he wants it. Donâ€
When I did an article in 2009 on unfaithfulness, a man called me confessing how he is into an extra marital affair just because his wife refused to dress the way he likes. According to him, he likes women in jeans, well manicured red polished nails and red lips. He said he spends so much to buy the best designer range for his girlfriend who wants to please him. He said he will stop being unfaithful the moment his wife starts dressing for him. Ladies, please donâ€
Sit with him while he eats
They will not tell you, but this is one thing they cherish. When it was just a dating relationship, you did this and much more like stroking his back when he eats. But now that he is legally yours, you feel itâ€
The concluding part of this article comes next week. My number is strictly for sms; please bear with me.