Living Your Own Life

Only a negligible number of people are determined and brave enough to take control of the wheel of their lives and steer it in the direction of personal dreams and vision. The question of whether to do what you were born to do and be called weird and crazy or flow with whatever people or life as it were throw at you, is what no single ‘Yes’ or ‘No can address independently.

There are people who know they are in the wrong jobs, where there is no connection between what they do and destiny, but financial demands tie them to that peanut called salary as they want to survive. I’m not calling for you to throw in resignation letter tomorrow, but only to ask yourself if you are happy with what you are doing or there is something else you would have done to be ‘You.’

While continuing in your paid job, nothing stops you from giving birth to your dreams and nurturing it by the day and with time, it will blossom to its fullest and you’ll find yourself doing what you love doing and making money out of it.

I once met a lady who worked in a bank but spent two hours every day after work in a music studio practising. When asked why she lived such a busy life, the simple answer was “I am a musician, not a banker, it’s just a matter of time and money before I get fully into my dreams. Music makes me happy and people love it when I sing; why would I spend all my days doing what does not give me satisfaction?”

Do you know that some people fall sick, bored or even die if they lose a job or get retired not necessarily because there is no money to eat but because they don’t have a life–what they enjoy doing outside the office.

This article is not about pushing you into making more money but all about discovering what you were born to do and pursuing it with every breath of your life. It comes as a voice to help you say no to things that contradict your purpose, people want to make you what they feel is right and the most painful of it all, using you to satisfy their selfish desire.

I read a book some time ago by a pop artiste, who was pressured by a recording company to lose weight to a ridiculous size ‘0’ before they could sign her on for contract. She lived her bitter 24 months on cigarettes and coffee with little or no food. After the first release and initial average sell, she was abandoned to face the pains of bad health which complicated issues for her until someone picked her and gave a fresh hope and reason to live.

The world is filled with people who are ready and anxious to coax you into what you are not. The strongest weapon against this is having a picture of who you are.

Parents force children to marry money bags not minding how that money is got or how their children would be treated. They just want to boast and parade an in-law who is famous and ‘cool.’ Do you then blame young chaps who only look the direction of ‘big boys’ and ‘babes’? Oh no, you shouldn’t, societal influence, combined with family pressure, is a lot of force to conquer; only the brave can withstand them.

A young lady told a story of how she overheard her mother boast to her friends that a lawyer was coming to marry her daughter. When the daughter confronted her after the guest had gone, she got angry and said she lied to promote her daughter’s choice so people could rate her high.

From here, you can ask, is this why people tell lies just to belong? Oh, my goodness, it’s not worth it at all. Don’t let people define your life in such a cheap manner. Don’t let them tell you who you are supposed to be, but show them who you are by being who you really are.

Living your own life entails reaching deep down your soul to unearth reasons for living. If you can sincerely answer the question of who you are and why you were created, that would help you determine where to channel your time and energy. There would be less of copycat and more of creativity and unique discoveries with self actualisation. Your greatest value comes from being who you truly are.

Living to please others is a creepy trap that most people do not realise they’ve fallen victims. The unfriendly cloud of class distinction pushes people to do things totally adverse to comfort. How long would we pursue things we don’t need only to belong to a certain class in the society? A man with seven cars in his garage is certainly not paying correct taxes on them and if he is, does he need all that to show he has arrived?

The truth about living your life to impress others is that you can never totally impress people; they turn to mock you at the slightest opportunity. Climbing a five-inch shoes to wow your audience as you swing down the aisle could turn to booing the moment you slip and miss steps. Wearing things you are comfortable in is one lesson generation after another would not just learn.

Some are born quiet; others, chatter boxes, while a handful come in-between. Achieving your very purpose lies in the heart of appreciating yourself and making the most of who you are. Trying to be like someone else is real disaster and can keep you living a life for the rest of your existence.

You can borrow good values and improve your lot but, denying your true self to take up another might cost you a fortune, while emulating good things in line with your dream is a plus, but looking down on your goal simply because it doesn’t look as interesting as people may want to identify with, is lack of focus. If you don’t believe in what you have/do and promote it, no one will know you.

I delight so much in the simple words of Mother Teres: “We might not all do great things but we can all do little things with great zeal.” Enjoying life would demand you doing whatever you do with great zeal and interest. If you do not naturally love what you do, then try and do what you love for satisfaction as fulfilment comes from what you love.

A successful life is one who is able to hear, see and do things that can improve him/her without allowing sight and sound to distract his/her direction.

Borrow ideas, share thoughts, but all within your dream.