Show Gratitude

There is no denying the fact some relationships are more challenging than others. To some people, as I mention the word ‘gratitude’, it evokes a painful memory about life that if they had a way of getting through to me; would narrate how life has been unfair to them. But for the fact that I know about this possibility cannot in any way make me change what I believe-gratitude gives fortitude.

I know how you feel when it’s like you escorted other people to mother earth; they get all the good things of life in good time while you struggle for crumbs that hardly ever come regularly.

I have listened to people who feel and do actually say there is no need to live with their present condition- they’ll rather die than remain a laughing stock. Does this explain why some frustrated souls commit suicide? It’s only a life who sees no way out that contemplates termination. But can I put it to you that what you see is a function of your eyesight? Your eye quality determines the level, size, colour, etc of the real picture. What this means, therefore, is that the situation might not be that bad. You have only allowed yourself to thinking the worst has happened to you- you probably are not seeing well or getting the picture clear. Do you know that there is nothing you are going through that others have not successfully gone through it? So why do you want to declare yourself a cheap loser? Why act as if the whole world has crumbled on your head?

There are many balls life would throw at you; some will bring happiness while others bring sadness. The choice of how to handle them remains absolutely yours. You can either think of/ discover ways to cope with your challenges or decide to conduct a pity party; calling on everyone to come and share in your misfortune.

It’s okay to share your problems with people, especially those who love and care for you, but there’s a big question mark when you refuse to move on after a misfortune- you seem to enjoy the sympathy/empathy of the people around you and subscribe to a life of continuous lamentation and complaint. The fact that you lost one job does not close the entire job market, get up and explore what opportunities lay before you. If being single makes you sad, wearing a sad look can only help drive farther those who would have considered you a marriage candidate.

Totally ignore the people who say only good things happen to good people while bad people get what they deserve. What do they know about life? How much of life have they seen? I can say with all boldness that sometimes, good people suffer while the wicked blossom and prosper, they get the good things of life and things generally seem to be going well for them but what I’m not sure of is whether their prosperity lasts for long or they really have peace. There was a young lady who wrote me a private mail expressing how life has not been fair to her. I’ve been a good girl all my days; at the age of thirty five, I’m still a virgin and very religious, showing respect and love to the people around me but in all these goodness, no man wants to marry me. The bad girls got good grades from college, marry happening guys, get nice jobs and have children as often as they want. What is this life all about?”

The advice I would give is that we all have different challenges; stop looking at your problems with a magnifying glass, thinking yours is the most terrible of all conditions, even the people you are jealous of or desire to be like are NOT absolutely happy. They might even have more problems than you as a matter of fact, but have only decided to focus on solution and enjoy what they’ve got while you focus on what you lack and wish to be who you are not.

There is so much to be grateful for. Life itself is good and the good people around you add so many colours to it. You might be surprised to hear me say bad people also make life worth living. There is a good lesson to learn from every experience and the mere thought that you went through such difficult times and came out of it stronger gives you the courage to face life with hope and not defeat.

Of what value would life without challenges be? A boss who makes you give your best at work and prepare yourself for the day you’ll become an employer, loss of a dear one which makes you feel lonely and rejected as if end has come for you, a child who teaches you patience through being hyperactive, a spouse who treats you badly thinking the world revolves round him/her, the list goes on. In all these, if you find nothing to be grateful for, remember I’ve said you should be grateful for being the one who successfully went through it and that others can learn from you the act of consistency. By this, you would have contributed to humanity and your relevance would live longer than any man can imagine.

The big question is how do you show gratitude to a wife beater or a woman whose mouth runs like a broken pipe? Someone who does not want to see you alive, someone who thought and actually said you would not make it in life, the one who sets trap for your fall, a friend who laughs when you’re looking but bites when you back, people who literally use words to kill or destroy your life, etc.

Look, go a step further to look beyond those terrible things they do and you’ll find no one is totally bad- there are aspects of them you might want to appreciate; go ahead, don’t be stingy, let the words of ‘thank you’, ‘you are a wonderful person’, ‘you make the world go round’ flow – say it to them, who knows what great impact this might make in their lives. They might even want to change for the better- everyone loves to be appreciated and generally speaking, whatever you appreciate increases.

So many relationships would have been ‘heaven on earth’ only if the participants knew how to say thank you. Do you remember how hard you worked without watching out for time the day your boss praised you? Can you remember how you long you sat on the internet looking for gifts for your spouse simply because he/she appreciated the previous one? Wives, when your husband loves your meal, how do you feel? Giving and receiving gratitude is one of life’s great demands; we cannot pretend it’s not relevant. You don’t necessarily do a thing to get a ‘thank you’ but when it comes from a grateful heart; it goes all the way to brighten your day.