Before The Vampires Taste Blood —Gbenga Ogundare

Opinion

Opinion

I thought the President is a dove? So he told us some market days ago at the village square when some fowlers went on the rampage on the Plateau, shooting down harmless women and children

You mean Jonah’s lyrical excoriation of those unforgiving subjects who wanted him to be a man and dare those Satanists in the guise of Boko Haram? Yes, of course, or have you forgotten how he told us that ‘Some Nigerians still want the President of this country to be a lion or a tiger, somebody that has that kind of strength and force and agility to make things happen the way they think’.

Yes, I remember now how he got angry that some others will want the President to operate like an army general, like my Chief of Army Staff commanding his troops.

In fact, I will never forget how he expressed his open disdain because ‘somebody will want the President to operate like the kings of Syria, Babylon, Egypt, the Pharaoh, all-powerful people that you read about in the Bible. Unfortunately, I am not one of those’.

So if he is bereft of the kind of strength and force and agility to make things happen the way Nigerians want, what is he doing in company of those ferociously snarling warthogs?

Now you are beginning to wax poetic like the president himself and heavens know Your parables make me sick. Did you mean those kill and go goons patrolling the village square with lethal whips in convoy of those scary armour carriers?

Better to be a minstrel than be made a scoundrel these days. I am only trying to play safe with what I say else someone gets angry and set his vampire cousins on me.

Or have you forgotten he vows in his latest dirge to his caged subjects not to spare the heads of those who lead the chorus of rebellion at the last village riot? Am worried that only a rattlesnake in human skin will say such an unthinkable thing to his fellow compatriots.

Maybe that was a joke, even cowards will say worse things when you push them to the walls.

You have a point really. Only an adept clown can afford to shun the entreaties of his subjects and go consult with witches and masquerades before he could announce another price for a litre of our common fuel.

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You mean the ghostly cabals that make a puppet of every president in our village?

Yes, the untouchable leeches who live on our blood each fleeting seconds. They are rver hungry. They are ever insatiable.

There you go again with your imageries. So how come Jonah is unable to fumigate the village square and get rid of the leeches? Or what is the use of a doctorate in animal matters if leeches will make the village inhabitable for all except themselves alone?

Abomination! That will be a supersonic flight to early grave for Jonah himself. All of them suckle on the same breast of conspiracy and avarice. It will be like poisoning the fingers feeding you.

Now I am lost. Your poetry is confusing me the more.”

I mean to say that the leeches are everywhere, holding every apparatus of state in their grip… In fact, they share the same bedroom with the President himself…. They are unkillable.

“So what do we do when the ghouls combing our streets begin to shed innocent blood?

Well, we have ears to hear; and we have eyes to see when Jonah’s cousins begin to embrace madness.

Close your eyes then, let us pray.

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