Walking In Love

Aidy Thomas

Aidy Thomas

It’s a great privilege to love and be loved; the human life would have little or no meaning if the aspect of giving and receiving love were removed.

There are loads of controversies surrounding the concept of what we should refer to as love and how it should be practised in relationships. Unfortunately, people tend to mix up emotional feelings with the real commitment to love.

Emotional love/feelings is what attracts a person even at the mere sight of who appeals sexually to him/her while mature love focuses on the decision made to walk together as one body. Someone can easily ask: is emotion not part of mature love? I didn’t say so. Emotion is part of human life but allowing it to rule and define your decisions in the relationship could be a bit tricky.

You should purposely refuse to rely on mere emotions as the basis for your relationship because emotions are unstable: you might feel like loving someone today but feel otherwise the next day. If you do not feel like loving your spouse anymore in one day, are you going to end the relationship right away? It shouldn’t be the case.

People who are easily swayed by emotions jump in and out of relationships/marriage and the only reason given is the fact that they were no longer in love.

Hanna says: “I can’t find myself living in the same house with that man anymore. I feel absolutely nothing for him and won’t even let him come near me. Our love has completely turned sour”.

Billy complains; “I’m not sure I put myself in this marriage. What I’m getting in the relationship is completely different from what I expected. The marriage looked good at first but that experience did not last at all. Now I’m frustrated and sniffing everywhere for compensation”.

Comments like these simply expose the level of understanding operated by persons involved. It would be nice to know that a meaningful relationship goes beyond the wave of feelings. Walking in love requires commitment and focus: one must choose to make it work by projecting the positive side while accommodating the negatives; hoping things will get better.

Success in relationships does not happen automatically; the more you are willing to invest your love the more likely you are to get positive results.

Things to note:

1. Love is innate: Both men and women have the capacity to love and also respond to love – everyone has got something to offer. Having said that, they still need to work on this gift of nature and apply it appropriately. Understanding the difference between emotional love and mature love takes lovers to a higher plane and enables them approach relationship with dignity. There is really no college where people go to learn how to love but learning how to place the need of others first and being considerate communicate how much you care about them.

Little things done for the good of others speak volume of the depth of love we carry. Showing love, therefore, entails taking what is natural in us and appropriating it to benefit others.

2. People can be difficult: Some people just enjoy the label of being difficult to love. Showing love to difficult people can be quite challenging as they hardly respond to your good gestures.

3. Selfish people keep demanding love and giving very little in return because they are considering their own need first. The irony turns out to be that the person who gives out more love is happier than he/she who receives loads.

4. People have weaknesses: Waiting for your spouse to be perfect before they can enjoy your love is a waste of time and expectations. If you have chosen to love a person, concentrate on their positive side or strength and celebrate how their contribution to your life has made a huge difference.

5. Your love can sometimes be taken for granted. Knowing this will help you keep calm when you are paid with a bad coin after so much effort was put in to show love. This happens in diverse ways ranging from unfaithfulness to insult, disrespect or outright ungratefulness. It was very shocking to read about Clinton’s experience with his wife. “I trusted Ann so much that I went out of my way to borrow money and invest heavily in her young business. The moment she realised the business was beginning to yield good returns, she outplayed me; changed the documents to favour only her selfish end. The next thing I heard was a divorce notice and the rest is history”.

Love betrayed brings pains and being able to deal with the situation shows how mature you are. If you stop loving because of previous hurt, it gets you nowhere.

Keep on walking in love and expect the best to come.

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