Distant relationships causes divorce- FCT residents

Some residents of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) on Tuesday identified distance relationship as major contributor to marriage woes, resulting in extramarital affairs and increase in divorce.

The residents, in Abuja, noted that long distance between spouses had negative effects on marriages, children upbringing and moral decadence in society.

Aisha Umar, a mother of two, attributed her separation from her ex-husband to distance, which, she said, allowed other problems to creep into their marital life.

“My marriage was greatly affected by the fact that we stayed in different states. We only meet during weekends, public holidays or when either of us is on leave from work,’’ she said.

Umar said it got to a point that none of them felt the need to risk his or her life to be on the road for visitation.

Such an excuse gradually started affecting other areas like finance, sex life and their children’s welfare, hence they had to go their separate ways.

Similarly, Kehinde Sunday, a resident in Karu, said distance relationship made him engage in some extra-marital affairs, which, he said, nearly cost him his wife and children.

“I was residing here in Abuja, while my wife was in Ibadan due to her job.

“And it was cheaper for us to bring up our children there because of the high cost of living here in the FCT.
“I got into a relationship that was so difficult to leave as I started having feelings for the girl.

“This affair affected my relationship with my wife and children to the extent that family members had to intervene to sustain our marriage,’’ Sunday said.

Sunday said he regretted his action and advised couples to strive hard towards sustaining their marriage for the good of the children and the society.

Mrs Joy Okafor, a housewife and business woman, stressed the need for couples to always find a way of staying together to avoid problems that might affect their marital life.

“I believe, when couples stay together, it would be easy to resolve quarrels immediately, build love, respect and encourage responsible behaviour as well as satisfy their sexual urge,’’ she emphasized.

However, some residents were of the opinion that long distance had actually sustained their relationships as “the less you see and meet, the less you fight’’.

According to the residents, staying separately gives each of the spouses some privacy without feeling suffocated by each other.

For Sani Danjuma, a civil servant, distance relationship actually contributed immensely to peaceful coexistence in his home.

According to him, it increased the longing to meet after some days of separation between him and his family.
“We lived together as a family in Kaduna, until I was transferred to Abuja.

“My wife and I decided that she should remain in Kaduna with the kids, while I visit them every weekend and public holidays.

“This arrangement has worked for us with little time to disagree or quarrel over irrelevant issues and has further strengthened our relationship.

”We always look forward towards spending the little time we have in a peaceful and loving atmosphere,’’ he said.

Also, Isuwa Titus, an unmarried artisan, said staying in separate location with one’s spouse decreases the rate of quarrel between spouses as well as serves as a family planning strategy.

Titus said that “the less you see and meet, the less you fight,’’ which he said would enable couples not to feel suffocated, trailed or caged in a relationship.