Don’t let a “Christian” rob you

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By Dan Akusobj

At a time in our yard in Aba, we never would sleep with any eyes closed. Thieves were all over. Some were good church goers who confessed, they were “burnt again.”

Each time they invaded our yard, they carted away all we gathered and if we were not rich enough to feed our wives fat- if our wives were not on the XXX – + continuum, a lot would have been their games fully banked too.

Most of us belonged to various churches and had our church logos on our doors and kitchen pots. Mine read boldly said: “When I see this blood, I shall walk away” – a sign our pastor said is a better shield from bullets than hiding self in a metal sheet bunker.

My neighbour – he wore the Chosen’s lime semi-vest and made sure his wife wore same at nights while in bed. His wife – a very pretty low mileage brand new lad. Same neighbour decorated his doors and windows with the same.

One neighbour always escaped the misfortune that later became a norm for us. He never locked his door firmly. We hear his snores when he is home. All in his family always slept as hard a dead.

On his door was this sign: “Member, Ogboni fraternity.”

No thief ever dared him nor touched his bicycle he left to sleep naked in front of our yard. His young wife- pretty like mine. We never toasted her.

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Like I said, the thieves swept us clean each time they came. Our neighbour- the “Chosen church man” who always draped his wife in the Chosen lime vests had his wife fully raped in one of the attacks while he was tied to his bicycle and ordered to watch the movie.

We became safer the moment we organized and sent the robbers N3000 each month. This is true. They left us alone.

We quickly learnt a lesson when there were reports that some Abokis who cut our nails and shined our shoes had begun to rob us. They did and we never felt robbed.

We concluded thus and say: “Don’t ever let a Christian thief rob you.”

The other day Aboki went to rob our neighbour at Danfodio, Aba, he took only 3 tubers of yam out of over 145 tubers available for him to steal.

We caught him and he was holding only one. He already gave two away to his fellow Abokis who were also hungry.

He did not eye the wife nor the daughter of ‘oga’ Emma, the yam seller. Now you know.


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