12th December, 2023
By Nehru Odeh
“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” – William Shakespeare
Nobel Laureate Professor Wole Soyinka’s elder sister, Tinuola Aina, was born into greatness. She also achieved it by sheer dint of hard work. Though the accomplished writer had first immortalized her simply as Tinu in his dazzling memoir, Ake: Years of Childhood, she herself later wrote her name in letters of gold by virtue of the exemplary life she led, the heights she attained and the unforgettable way she touched lives in the four scores and ten years she lived.
The unforgettable way she touched lives? Sure. Though Aunty Tinu, as she was fondly called, passed on on 7 November 2023 at 90, her immortality is no doubt assured, as she left indelible footprints in her tracks while she walked gently through life.
Mama Tinu’s imprints in the sands of time are legion and are forever etched in the minds of those with whom she interacted, what with her peculiarities, her caring personality, her sense of humour, her love for – and deep sense of – family and community, her predilection for pastimes such as baking, knitting and tie and dye, her mischievous smile and grin, her generosity, her legendary love for a perfect cup of tea and the cane (she christened ‘Mr Do Good’) which she wielded but hardly used on kids, her sacrifices and the way she was there for others even at a ripe old age.
Little wonder she was known variously as Mummy Bode Thomas, Mummy Gbagada – depending on the time and place she lived – and universally as Aunty Tinu by relatives and non-relatives alike, no matter the age difference between her and others.
It was indeed for these and many other reasons that family, friends and professional colleagues converged on Oguntona Crescent, Gbagada Phase One, Lagos on Friday 8 December to celebrate the impactful life she led, the unforgettable memories she left behind and the lives she touched.
Distinguished family members and guests present at the event included Professor Wole Soyinka, Dr Yemi Ogunbiyi, Dr Olu Agunloye, Mr Kunle Ajibade, Mrs Yemisi Ransome-Kuti, Mr Abiola Owoaje, Reverend Kayode Soyinka as well as other great personalities too numerous to mention.
It was an afternoon of music, dance and merriment as food and drinks flowed freely. It was an afternoon of family reunion and bonding. It was also an afternoon of nostalgia as family members rekindled old memories as they paid tributes to the one whom they called Mama Agba, not verbally this time but via the written word. Of course, Mama Agba was a good letter writer.
In the emotion-laden tribute, which her daughter Ms Yomi Aina penned for her, she described her as a great mother and woman who had played her part for family and society.
“I have been so close to my mother for most of my life, her passing has left a big gap for me. I know this will be the same for many others who knew her as a sociable and outgoing person. My mother had many friends and many who knew her and admired her. Throughout her life, the way she conducted herself provided a good example for others to follow and I personally learned so much just by observing her.
“I noticed she was always encouraging people around her. She made people believe in themselves, she lifted them up and motivated them to do their best. Also, once she knew a person, she was always there for them. She made it easy for them to get her and would be ready with advice and encouragement,” Yomi reminisced.
Mr Biyi Aina described his mother as a strict disciplinarian, adding that his life is proof of her unwavering love, it’s legacy steeped in her generosity, her humility, the many sacrifices and her trust in him. He also wrote that her lasting legacy abounds in love tailored to fit each need, and yet it transcends many cherished relationships.
“My mother lived a modest life, albeit rich in treasured relationships. Every relationship is nurtured and espoused in character traits fed by humility, sacrifice, generosity and trust. Such traits held in esteem shape a life of service to others.
“Mother was a dedicated employee and exemplary leader. She tirelessly immersed herself in both urgent administrative and emergent clinical duties. Hence leaving a lasting impression on her colleagues. She was always available to her students and their respective family members amidst private matters both emergent and urgent.
“Her calling was to serve others in need. Her church was the circumstance faced in the moment. Her faith encompassed all believers from diverse backgrounds. Her heart opened to all who sought fellowship or friendship. She was welcoming of all at her table and yes, she fed countless,” Biyi maintained.
Professor Omofolabo Ajayi- Soyinka, her younger sister, described Mama Tinu whom she called ‘Sister’ as practical, capable, confident and independent. In spite of the huge age difference, they were very close.
“She was ready to share her expertise where needed. Every action has a goal, and must be well directed … Sister did not believe in idle moments, time is best utilized in improving oneself and the service of others.
“Her profession as a nurse enhanced her naturally caring personality. She often requested for all kinds of vitamins that I became worried that she was taking more than good for her health. But no, I later realized she was donating the vitamins to the clinic she ran for her church. She would worry if, for any reason, she missed visiting ‘the Elders’ of her church. At the designated time. I had to remind her that at 85 years old, she was an elder herself,” Omofolabo explained.
Dr Olaokun Soyinka, her nephew who wrote in the second person, said she was so well-loved by her family. He reminisced about the time they spent together as a family, especially the April gatherings to celebrate her birthday, which happened regularly.
He wrote: “We would still get the chance to visit you from time to time and get a chance to see you and also catch up with many family members. When you celebrated your 90th, the gathering included family from many continents. I am grateful that in recent years, now living in Lagos, I got to see you more often. You seemed to defy the passage of time.
“Your good health was due, I’m sure, to your discipline and healthy lifestyle. You were always mentally active and ate modestly and healthily. You also encouraged others with advice and even personally conducted health checks for others, especially at church, well into the 8th decade of your life. I was always impressed by the wide variety of people who counted themselves as your friends and would drop by to say hello – colleagues, employees, and old students. People of all ages were drawn to you.”
Ms Biola Ajayi, on behalf of the Taye Ajayi family, described Mama Tinu, whom she called Mummy Gbagada, as a living and purposeful person, an “encourager”, very respectful, loving and a jolly good fellow.
“We enjoyed each other’s company when I was younger and visited more often. My children, indeed my family cannot forget Mama’s delicious cakes churned out to each of us each time we visited. Even though she was old enough to be my mother, she never called my name without putting ‘sisi’ before it, ” she said.
Dr Kofoworola Soyinka, the wife of her younger brother Professor Femi Soyinka, said Sister Tinu was the sweetest, kindest soul she ever met. She also described her as loving and lovable, beautiful inside out and generous to a fault.
“She cherished family and cared for my late husband, me and our children like she had no one else to care for. Always asking after us and looking out for us.
“With the arrival of GSM, she called us at least once a week. When my husband came down with Alzheimer’s, her calls became more frequent, especially to me. She was a strong pillar of support in those terrible years, praying for me and counselling me every time she called,” Kofoworola said.
Mr Aron Carlson, a son-in-law whom Mama Tinu fondly christened “Olumide” wrote: “Aunty Agba would always speak with me over the phone in a call with my spouse; would matter of factly discuss current matters in Nigeria; would share some of her personal thoughts, and she would always … always … ask about my mother and ask me to tell her hello from her.
“In turn, I would share some of my personal thoughts, ask about her, and I made sure to deliver her well wishes to my mom. This phone relationship with her went on for a number of years. As an in-law outside of the family culture, she furnished me with a Yoruba name, which she made sure to address me by, at least once, when I was in her presence.
“‘Olumide. My Lord has Arrived’ she would say to me. I appreciate her kindness, attention, and helping me to feel that I have a place in the extended family of my spouse. I will always remember her for that,” Carlson reminisced.
Mr Ayodeji Soyinka also went down memory lane as he wrote about Mama Tinu’s endless Love for her Beetles, which was evidenced by her stubbornly driving it for years.
“But above all, it was your generosity that stood out the most, in stark contrast to Dad’s (may his soul rest in peace) frugality, whom our cousins humorously nicknamed Uncle IJ. Your house was always a trove of treats – biscuits, chocolates, and an array of juices and soda, a delight in my childhood. And though as adults, we expected a shift to wines, beers and spirits, we didn’t mind bringing our own, drawn by your fantastic company and the rich family history you shared,” she wrote.
Ms Egbinola Oladeji, her niece, wrote about the long conversations they always had and the way she expressed concern for everyone’s welfare and lamented about the state of the country.
“You visited the elderly people to give them Holy Communion in their homes. You visited the clinics where you volunteered even when you had to walk there very slowly with your cane.
” Your home was welcome to young children in the neighbourhood. You told stories on your strategy to get them to read and write by holding ‘Mr Do Good’ in the air. This was your nickname for the whip/koboko. The children were never whipped – they recited the alphabet and got some sweets,” she said.
The tributes go on and on in the colourful programme spiced with the photographs she had taken on different occasions with her family members cutting across different generations.
Those photographs tell stories about her love for family, how she touched lives and impacted generations, and confirm all the good things family and friends wrote about her.
Everyone present at the reception was convinced that, as the English poet Alfred Lord Tennyson would say, Mama Tinu was indeed a part of everyone she met.
And as the day wore on and twilight was setting in, the more guests were leaving the venue, the more others were coming in. It was as though the party would never end. That spoke volumes about who Mama Tinu really was and the exemplary life she led.