By Helen Paul
When I saw the news that Asake, our own Afrobeats music star, has reconciled with his father, I felt so relieved and happy for him. Ignoring one’s parents is not the way to go, not even when they’re having health challenges. As Africans, we attach premium importance to how we treat our elders, parents in particular. The Scriptures also confirm this, so there should be no debate on it.
While the whole drama between Asake and his father was going on, I read many social commentators reeling out different opinions. While some were drumming support for Asake, questioning why the man was not there for him when there was nothing, others were literally calling for the singer’s head.
To be honest, a lot was running through my mind as the father-and-son drama was unfolding. What could have happened? Did the man truly abandon Asake when there was nothing, and under what circumstances? How did his parents separate? What were the things his mother told him about his dad? What kind of man is his father? If Asake were not successful, would his father call him out? The family members that joined in trolling Asake, how did they treat him when he was a nobody? Has he been helping his father before? All these and many more questions were running through my head without definite answers.
It is he who wears the shoe that knows exactly where it pinches. While I’m not encouraging Asake for his actions, I’m also not going to condemn him. I’m pretty sure that since he became successful, he has helped many random people pay hospital bills and sort all manner of problems ranging from accommodation to school fees, feeding, and the rest. So, why not replicate the same for your biological father, irrespective of what he might have done? Two wrongs cannot make a right.
You see, success is like a magnet. It attracts all manner of objects to you. Many people will flock around you, not because they genuinely like you, but because of what you’re carrying—success. In my next article here on PMNewsOnline next Friday, I will explain the different types of relationships we encounter in our life journey and how we need to identify and place them exactly where they need to be. We should learn to know when to draw the lines. A lot of people have fallen from grace to grass or made costly decisions in life because of the people around them.
I’m pretty sure that some of those calling for Asake’s head are battling similar issues, maybe even worse, but because they’re not famous, we won’t get to know about them. In fact, if we listen to some stories, they are so pathetic. There are many guys in Lagos who have either abandoned their parents or are not taking responsibility for them, but the parents won’t call them out on social media because nobody knows them. While I will never support any child treating his/her parents shabbily, we also need to understand that some issues are meant to be handled privately. We shouldn’t be washing our dirty linen in public. This is strictly a family affair and should be treated as such. I know that some people will say that if the man had not called out the boy on social media, he wouldn’t have gotten his attention as he just did—bla bla bla—but is it the right thing to do, not minding what the consequences might be on his career? Must we get to the level of what the Yorubas call “kaka ki eku ma je sese, a fi s’awa danu” meaning (a rat would rather waste what it cannot eat)?
All over the world, being a celebrity is not a burden for the faint-hearted because usually, fans assume that celebrities are superhumans who should live a perfect life, not prone to mistakes. But that isn’t true. We are humans like you, with the same blood and tissues flowing in our veins. We are just the girl/boy next door—forget the razzmatazz. Yes, I agree that as role models to millions of young people, we should live by example, but we can never be perfect. Nobody is. So, while criticizing celebrities, we need to also cut them some slack because we could do more than what we are criticizing them for if we were in their shoes.
Here’s wishing Asake’s father a speedy recovery. His healing shall be permanent. Ololade Mi Asake, you will never fall. Continue to grow with more wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. This is just the beginning of greater things to come.
See you all next week.
