Why Arsenal Husbands Make the Best Husbands

By Iyabo Arinola Awokoya

There is a special breed of men walking among us. They are calm in chaos, hopeful in despair, and strangely optimistic even when all evidence suggests otherwise. These men are called Arsenal husbands. Trust that I know, because I am an Arsenal wife.

To understand an Arsenal husband, you must first understand years of emotional conditioning.
For over a decade, Arsenal fans have been trained in patience. Not the ordinary kind but the elite-level patience. The kind that watches a season start with hope, peak briefly in October, wobble by January, and end in philosophical acceptance by May. This season looks much more promising though, even as I cross my fingers.

Now imagine taking that same man and putting him into a marriage! Excellent results achieved:

Arsenal Husbands Are Already Used to “Next Year”

An Arsenal husband is not shaken by statements from his wife such as:
“Let’s talk about it later.”
“Maybe next month.”
“We’ll see how it goes.”

He has heard worse. He has survived “Trust the process.” He has lived through “We’re rebuilding.” He understands that good things take time, and sometimes more time.

So when his wife says, “We’ll do it next year,” he nods respectfully. After all, he’s been waiting for the league victory since 2004.

They Have Mastered Emotional Resilience

You cannot break an Arsenal husband easily. He has celebrated goals that were later disallowed by VAR. He has defended players everyone else had already given up on. He has watched last-minute equalizers turn into last-minute heartbreaks. So when there’s tension at home like power outage, traffic in Lagos, burnt rice, or a forgotten anniversary, he does not panic. He breathes deeply. He remembers the North London Derby. He remembers the thrashing of Aston Villa, the supremacy over Inter Milan. He survives.

They Are Experts at Managing Expectations

An Arsenal husband does not overpromise. He will not say: “I’ll be back in 10 minutes” when he knows it’s Lagos traffic. “I’ll definitely remember” when he won’t. Years of supporting Arsenal have taught him that hope is important, but realism is wiser.

He prefers: “Let us wait and see.” This honesty alone saves many marriages.

Arsenal Husbands Are Loyal to a Fault

Let’s be honest, anyone who has supported Arsenal through trophy droughts, managerial debates, and endless banter from rival fans is not a quitter. This is not a man who runs at the first sign of difficulty. If he stayed when everyone mocked him with “Corner FC”; “Set-piece FC”; “No trophies again?”; “Next season merchants” and “Elephant on the tree”, he will stay when marriage requires patience, forgiveness, and effort. This man does not jump ship.

They Understand That Love Is Bigger Than Winning

An Arsenal husband knows something very profound: Winning is sweet, but belonging is sweeter. That is why he loves his club and loves his wife. That is why he still believes.
He understands that marriage, like football, is about teamwork, long-term vision, occasional or frequent heartbreak and celebrating small wins like a clean kitchen or a peaceful weekend.

In conclusion, if you are a spinster, I advise that you marry an Arsenal man. It is all good.
You didn’t just marry a man, you married emotional stamina. An Arsenal husband has already been trained by life, football, and disappointment. Marriage is the Premier League he can surely win.

-Iyabo Awokoya is a lawyer and Development and Management Consultant based in Lagos.