Why modern marriages are failing – IK Ogbonna

Nollywood actor IK Ogbonna has stirred a conversation on the hidden power struggles affecting modern marriages, particularly between African men and successful, independent women.

In an Instagram Story, the actor described how many romantic relationships that start with mutual admiration often spiral into silent battles for control, identity, and dominance, not due to lack of love, but because of unspoken societal and cultural pressures.

“It doesn’t always start as conflict. In fact, it often begins with admiration. He is drawn to her strength. She is attracted to his confidence,” Ogbonna wrote.

“But somewhere along the line, ego meets ego, pride meets independence, culture meets ambition.”

According to Ogbonna, many African men are raised to lead but are rarely taught how to coexist with a woman who can lead as well.

On the flip side, women who have built their own empires are often taught to guard their independence, but not how to be vulnerable without feeling diminished.

He noted that this imbalance creates unspoken tension, leading to emotional distance, resentment, and eventual breakdowns in communication.

“So what starts as love becomes a power struggle,” he stated. “Not because they don’t love each other. But no one taught them to love each other’s strengths without feeling threatened.”