“Stop carrying everything,” Actress Bolaji Ogunmola to firstborn daughters

Nollywood actress and filmmaker, Bolaji Ogunmola, has shared a powerful message aimed at firstborn daughters, urging them to let go of the deeply ingrained role of being “mother figures” in romantic relationships.

In an Instagram post, Ogunmola reflected on the emotional burden many firstborn women carry into adulthood, often rooted in early caregiving responsibilities within the family.

“As a firstborn daughter, you are used to carrying. You think entering romantic relationships has to be the same, and then you continue the cycle of never knowing what being at ease, being looked after feels like,” she wrote.

She cautioned that this pattern of over-giving and emotional labour not only exhausts women but also distorts how love and partnership should feel.

Ogunmola emphasized that women, especially those raised to always care for others, must learn to receive care and value themselves in relationships.

“You are not his mother, and you don’t have to fix everything or everyone!!!! Rest,” she added.