28th September, 2012
Sounds like a misfit to mention love when times are unbearably hard and people struggling more than ever to make ends meet? Well, the fact is that times have always been hard and folks have always complained about everything and anything possible.
We only refer to yesterday as the good old days when faced with ‘today’ but ask those people who lived in the ‘good old days’ “was life that easy for everyone?”
No, as cheap as things were compared to now, they still had loads of people who could not afford food and good life; so what are you talking about? Life will always be life: good for some, bad with others. Some rich; others dying of poverty.
As some are signing the doted line; a handful flog to the divorce hall. One group celebrating success while their contemporaries contemplate suicide.
As a matter of fact, life just lives on and expects you to position yourself to suit ‘you’. There would always be challenges in life so don’t ever deceive yourself by waiting for the perfect time; time is what you make out of it.
Really, it’s an open ticket: use it when and how you please but what you get as reward will speak for itself.
When I was in the school, there was a strong urge to write a book about what I cherished most. I thought; ‘now I’m in school, there’s a lot of course work to complete, why don’t I leave this writing till after graduation?
As I graduated, job came and my husband came not too along after; talked me into thinking marriage then I said to myself “living in my own home and doing things only when I feel like would be lovely”.
I looked forward to when I’ll be all alone in my study after work doing the writing without having to fit into people’s ridiculous demands. A few months after the wedding, we were expecting our first son and again I dreamt of how my maternity leave will groove as I accomplish my dreams.
Unfortunately, all of that never happened, I mean absolutely nothing happened in the direction of my dream. The day I realised time was ticking and age added so fast was the very turning point in my life. Now I had to write the book as if a head-teacher was standing behind me with a commanding tone; this time I’ve got a husband, three children and a job all at once to manage; tell me when was the best time to do the writing?
Really, your best time is that time you’ve realised, prepared and positioned yourself to explore the opportunity around you. Time is a very silent passer-by, only the eagle eyed can spot its movement and the intelligent knows how not to abuse it.
Back to Enjoying your love, it hurts me so deeply when people put away their chance to catch fun today for flimsy or over zealous reasons. Can you turn back time?
A lovely bride once shared with me how she has lived in pains for years after their wedding. Her husband casually talked about going for honey moon but she felt he had not enough money for such jamboree, so she suggested they could stay in their new humble home and bask in each other’s love. Her husband was delighted to hear what sounded like a big let out for his lean pocket. A few months down the line, her chief bride’s maid got married and her husband had already booked a holiday for them in a far country without telling her.
This was the beginning of trouble for the one who thought she did not have a proper honey moon. Depression set in and she classified her husband’s action as lack of love. She felt if he wanted to have a good time; he would have planned for it and presented it as a surprise.
This affected their relationship so badly that nothing the husband did was ever seen in good light. After their first child was born, she openly demanded for a honey moon now that the man could at least afford something moderate but it can never be the same; the joy of seeing your lovely wedding gown hang over the hotel room and the reminiscence of how people stood to honour you as you walked down the aisle, the cool music, smiling guests, leftover cake and loads more cannot be relived concurrently.
Well you can say that she was being a ‘good girl’ by saying no to her husband’s idea of honey moon when they had no money but my suggestion is that ‘if you want to be good, be good to the end’. There is no need pretending to be good today and setting the house ablaze tomorrow; recalling all the bad times you have endured in the relationship. Whatever you did out of understanding should remain silent; don’t use it against your spouse.
There are different levels of enjoyment depending on your financial strengths. Waiting until you hit that jack pot before you go out for an evening meal may take for ever. Find places you could relax and breathe warm air over each other without having to pay the earth- it mustn’t be Burge Al Arab before the night can be cosy. Floating on water can be fun but if your coins can only take you on land why are you looking for canoe?
There should be no hindrance to reasonable things you can do that would bring spark into your life.
People who waited for children to grow before enjoying romance discovered grandchildren started coming too soon and demanded even more attention so they continue looking for a future that would never be.
What you push till tomorrow may either crash or crush your heart- do what you have to do today but apply wisdom and moderation in everything. Striking a balance is a mark of self control and living responsibly.